That science has proved, artics are healed by a pack of Bud, 11 raslin' tickets, 10 a Copenhagen, 9 years probation, 8 table dancers, 7 packs of red men, 6 cans of spam, whaaaat? Cring-a-cring? Yeah, you know like if you buy your wife earrings and the double is fishy lures? Or if you convert the entire chorus of jingle bells? As if you think the Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive. Or if you've ever misspelled anything in Christmas life, or if you leave cold pickled eggs for Santa Claus. I didn't say anything wrong with it, it's hard to beat. Well, pack a bud, let them raslin' tickets in a Copenhagen. Nine years probation, eight table dancers, seven packs of rednecks, dancing dances, bats. You go down to the panacatrey and visit your mama. You're not listening to me, get the car key out of here. That's where the nine years probation comes in. I'm gonna do it for you again. Now listen. 11 wrestling tickets, 10 a Copenhagen, 9 years probation, 8 table dancers, 7 packs of redness, 6 cans of spam. Holidays everybody. Uncle Artie Steppen said she had crows feet. Connelly says, They weren't here fixing up the house for the party today. Oh hey Evan, that's a push? Yeah, I thought she was too smart to get caught. Well, she made a muscle. Well, how did they catch her? Her bustle went off for a quarter of eight. Did you send out the invitations for the party? Oh, Christmas party to be held in his home. B-B-O-B. B-O-B. Yep, you mean, Horace, Granberry Sauce, that first specialty, Aunt Catherine will bring her plump pudding, this specialty, and Aunt Evil will bring her fourteen children, that's a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a a lot of movie stars and I invited Lana Turner and she kissed me. Lana Turner kissed you? The smoke isn't coming out of my ears for nothing. How about the tree? Yeah, did you get a tree? Did you get a tree? Oh, did I get a tree? I got the biggest Christmas tree you ever saw. I didn't put it in the living room. You did? Why, that's too real. Higher than the ceiling. Well, it's a shame to have to cut the top off. That's the way I felt about it too. Sure, sure. So I cut a hole in the ceiling. I have to. the ceiling of our living room? Yeah, this will be the first Christmas we ever had a tree in our bathroom. What kind of a tree did you get? Is it a burr? Oh yes, it's one of those... What did you say? I said, did you get a burr? No, I got a tree. Oh, stop, there's silliness. I want to see your burr. See my burr? Certainly. What am I, a silver fox? No. I'm not talking about fur, F-U-R. The fur, the fur I mean has an eye in it. Oh, the fur has an eye in it? Yes, just one eye? Certainly that's just why. One eye and fur. Must be I-J-F-O-K. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no That's the one I'm talking to you. Yes, I'm talking about a fir tree. Now, will you quit talking about the fir with you in it? You doesn't belong in the kind of fir I'm talking about. I doesn't belong in that kind of fir. Oh, yes, I belongs in it. But you doesn't. Why should you belong in fir if I doesn't? The tree is the outer coat. Did the tree have a rough coat? No, so it to me had on a swoosh. I for singing, please. It's the coat. You find on the trunk of a fir tree. A tree has a trunk? Of course. keeps us confirmed. No, cut fella. I'm gonna try to explain it to you now. All Christmas trees belong to the Pine family. Oh, no they don't. You don't know anything about trees. Who don't? You don't feed them yourself. Did I feed them? I feed them every day. The men eat and you die. I feed them when you seeded them. Furries, did you seed them? No. Did I seed them? Yes. In other words, you looked at my... Let me smell your breath. I was trying to tell you about the Pine. Pine tar? No, but I have... Freetar? Yeah, I get some more spaghetti, Abbott, so I can finish trimming my Christmas tree. potential this year so I'm trimming a tree with spaghetti. And boy does it look... Oh, what's beautiful about trimming a tree with spaghetti? Every time I think the meatballs light up. That silliness again. That movie actress, Bessie Mae Mucho. Mucho! Gee, I'm glad I saw you. I want to invite you to my Christmas party tonight, Miss Mucho. Oh, I'm very sorry, but I have to go down to Los Angles. I'm having a dinner party at the embossed or a hotel. The Ombossitor Hotel! Oh, sure, Rabbit, you know where the Ombossitor is? That's the home of the Cuckoo Nut Group! Oh, it's going to be a thrilling dinner. We're going to have Craw-bluey and themed claws. Claws? Oosters? Well, we... So, so tight! One turn down for your body. I don't care, Rabbit. I don't care if she don't want to come. Well... Comes my girlfriend, Lena, gets to... She'll come for my party tonight. She's madly in love with me. I was a flute and went in it, girls, Lena. I'm saving myself for you. Saving so much. Stick with you. I have perfume you gave me on my hair. Wait a minute. I think it has a nice golden tint. What is it, Chanel number five? No, chemtone number seven. You little worm. Please, Lena, let's be friends. I'd never desert you. I'd stand by you. I'm a solid as the rock of Gibraltar. I can believe that. I'm getting out in the Mediterranean. talk like that I was just gonna ask you to come to my Christmas party tonight are you kidding I'm Van Johnson tonight Oh Ben Jackson you always talk about Ben Johnson take away his flying curly hair what do you got left oh but you can deliver it to my house in the morning children ain't gonna come to my party hey can't tell us but isn't that mrs. Niles getting off the street car do you always stand on the street called as leaning on a trash can oh that's Costello I recognize I wish I had to set up Mrs. Niles. I was gonna thank you for that beautiful Christmas card I got this morning. Oh, nothing. It was merely a picture of me smiling. I know it, but how did you get your teeth to spell out... Stop that. Mrs. Niles won't come to your party. I party anyway. I own younger people. It helps me to keep young. It's 70. Why? What happened then? It's like you're not going to have any party. That's the third turn down you've had. I don't care about it. Let's go home. Some of my other friends... I'll get somebody to come. Here, come on, grab this cap. Dog life. This is the Christmas season. Remember, peace on. Hurry. The expression, turn the other cheek. Boys, you're right. I'd like to turn the other cheek so I can feel the humility. Costello, will you please slap me? Slap you before I should, didn't I? Okay. Now, slap the other cheek. Here. Are you kidding? Oh. Hey, thanks, Costello. You know, I don't have wood. Turn the other cheek. Costello? Miss my true love sent to me Miss my true love sent to me Christmas my true love sent to me Me some milking and swans a swootable dose. A tree missed my true love sent to me. Dancing, a milking, swimming, squiggly, chan, twotable, dance. An apperture, nurpe, trees. And say of Christmas my true love sent to me. Sleeping, my lady's dancing, milking, squiggly, chan, twotable, dance. An apperture, nurpe, and a portrait in state of Christmas my true love sent to me eleven pipers piping ten lords are leaping nine ladies dancing two turtles dust and a portrait dismissed my true love sent to me twelve drummers drumming eleven carpers piping two leaping ladies dancing they made the milking seven swans are swimming two turtles dust and I got nubs when the thing... Boss at? That's out. Why don't you sing a little bit of that song we were working on the other day? The Christmas song. Oh, the I'll be home progressive? Yeah. Want to? Love to. It's good. For Christmas, you can count on me. And press if only, if only to the play. Even more toasting will be scary. and tales of the glories of Christmases long, long ago. It's the most wonderful time of the year. Much mistletoeing and hearts will be glowing when loved ones are near. It's the most wonderful time of the glories of Christmases long, long ago. It's the most wonderful time of the year. There'll be much mistletoeing and hearts will be glowing when loved ones are near It's the most wonderful time Yes, the most wonderful time Oh, the most wonderful On an open fire Black straw sniffing at your nose Tight carols being sung by a choir And folks dressed up like Eskimos Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe Help to make the season bright And it's hot with eyes all aglow He'll find it hard to sleep tonight They know that Santa's on his way Put lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh And every mother's child is gonna spy To see if reindeer's really no offering to self-affraid Someone's been ten-ninety-two, always been said Many times, many ways, Merry Christmas Many times, many ways, Merry Christmas You see what I see, up in the sky little lamb. You see what I see, singing the night to the shepherd boy. Ringing through the sky, shepherd boy. The sea with a voice as big as the sea. My king is in the sport, meringue. Listen to our next gifts, we bring cara, pom, pom, pom. Before the king I can hardly even bear to see them go We're coming to the borderline early morning rain motion to see the wisdom Christmas is long long ago full time much mistletoeing and hearts will be glowing when loved ones are near We'll be singing the song.